Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Believe. Feel. Write. Love.

    Ever stop to notice how much feelings are apart of our lives, how much they affect who we are and what we do? Have you ever really took the time to think how freakishly powerful they are, even when those feelings aren't your own. It's so complicated, yet so simple and when you look past all the nonsense that society has created, our feelings are hiding waiting to be freed. 
   As a writer I am constantly bombarded by feelings that are aside from myself and sometimes they are so potent that no matter how hard I try to shove them in the corner they always find their way back. I've learned that it's impossible to get rid of feelings without dealing with them. You must accept them, release them, move on, and grow from the experience.
     If I couldn't write in my journal and release my feelings I don't know what I would do. The deepest, most moving and influential articles/entries I've written are those that I wrote in times of misery, when I was going through deep emotional pain and sadness. Times when I felt hurt and alone, unappreciated and abandoned. It's in those times when not only are my thoughts racing though my head but they are itching to get out. Once my pen hits the paper, there's no turning back. My feelings take over and my thoughts flow through my fingertips, right onto the paper.  Its as if another, completely different, person is taking over. My mind floats away and my heart opens, pouring every ounce of emotion out onto paper. It's an amazing experience, indescribable. It's surreal and quite bazaar to be honest. When my heart is done and all the content is emptied onto paper, the pain and lonliness are gone and your left with an aura of complete contentment and relief. There a sense of relief that surrounds you and it's an irreplaceable, addicting, feeling-- It's as if you just went through a 2 hour therapy session, except your emptying your thought-and rebooting your heart-instead of your wallet.
     I never read what I wrote when I've finished writing something (unless it's for a class, or something important) and I'm not exactly sure why. When I write, I'm releasing thoughts and letting go of certain feelings that I've collected. If I went back and read those thoughts over, I'm just revisiting past pains and reminding myself of those feelings that are now gone. Of course I eventually go back a read them but when I do, sometimes I'm shocked and impressed by how deep and humbling it is. Those feelings are just as powerful reading about them than when they were itching to get out. It's that other person that comes out, the true writer inside of me that compses such beautiful work, who truly knows how to capture the beauty of my inner most deepest feelings and emotions. 
   Never do anything without feeling, theres no point. Your feelings guide you through life, your intuition .  Without it you'll never accomplish anything to your highest potential. If you're not following your feelings, then whose are you following? Think about it.

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